Serving others as a clinician provides a front row seat to observe reactions to societal trends. I was surprised at how many struggled to cope following the election results. These reactions have amplified anxieties surrounding the upcoming holidays. For the last four years, the American Psychological Association has polled regarding holiday health. This year 28% of those surveyed are experiencing more stress affording holiday gifts (46%,) grieving a lost loved one (47%,) and dealing with challenging family dynamics (35%). That may be especially true this December, as revealed by a recent APA survey conducted right before Thanksgiving. A significant 45% of younger people (ages 18 to 34) and 47% of middle-aged folks (ages 35 and 44) said they plan to avoid relatives they disagree with this holiday season in the aftermath of the election. Managing a family’s political differences during the holidays can be tough, but these conflicts do not have to ruin a festive season

How does one engage constructively in family political disagreements during the holidays?

Use stories: If you find yourself chatting with a neighbor, coworker or loved one at a holiday gathering, use personal stories to create connections and increase understanding rather than slinging facts, presenting data or spouting slogans.

Focus on real-life community: Regardless of where you fall on the political spectrum, being overly engaged in social media to cope with upsetting issues can be unhealthy. A more effective coping mechanism could be connecting your values to the tangible world. Instead of debating, use the real stories you tell about your personal engagement in local advocacy, community projects or relationships with local leaders to set an example to others on how to manage stress about the country’s future.

Setting Boundaries: It can be effective to reach out ahead of time to antagonizing family members who cause tensions in gatherings. Redirecting to neutral topics can give a helpful hint as to what is appropriate in your holiday setting. Having a ally to provide scaffolding in upholding your wishes to sidestep certain topics can help. Take a pause if relatives do not respect your limits by politely ending the conversation and walking away from it.

Healthy family communication: Share with your family a wish to focus on accepting one another just as we are. Emphasize quality time and redirect to connecting activities such as playing simple games or viewing old photos together. Create more manageable and enjoyable traditions if the time-worn ones of stimulating family debates cause stress.

Acknowledge your own biases:  Despite the fact that the public recognizes the term, “confirmation bias,” we naturally have trouble recognizing our own prejudices. When families get together, it is important to be aware that we don’t always understand the complexity of one another’s views. However, being aware of and admitting this handicap to each other can facilitate breaking down communication barriers.

Emphasize the controllable: Now that the elections are over, it can be helpful to focus on what you can influence. Engaging in a real activity, like volunteer work for a chosen cause, can be satisfying and lessen reactions to the election results.

Reframe thinking about your holidays:

People are often stressed during the holidays for reasons rooted in societal expectations, personal circumstances or logistical challenges. Financial pressures can strain budgets. The quest to buy the perfect gift can lead to unwanted overspending and financial anxiety. At this time of the year, we see hidden costs related to hosting or unanticipated requests to attend a holiday party.

Relate to others – Did you know that many adult do not share their hectic seasonal experiences with others due to hidden shame they cannot manage it well? Every two in five adults used negative coping strategies, such as isolation (21%,) overeating/restricting diets (16%) or relying on alcohol/substances to feel better (13%). It can help to talk to family or trusted friends who may offer support or advice. Alternatively, a therapist can provide ways for you to feel better by addressing emotional issues and changing unhealthy thought patterns and behaviors.

Realistic expectations – Removing expectations about the perfect holiday script can reduce the likelihood of disappointment. Annual celebrations are rarely perfect. Manage your hopes of presenting the ideal meal or offering perfect gifts. Lower your anxiety with practical choices that allow you to feel in control.

Focus on what is important – Is the season really about expensive presents, impressive decorations or elaborate food? Simplify your gatherings by refocusing on being with those you love or reaching out to connect with friends or family members you cannot be with this year.

Self-care – You are only one person and can only do so much in one day. If you feel less harried, others may benefit from a more relaxed, happier version of yourself. Long walks in nature, quiet reading, calming music or mindfulness practices can restore energy and keep you in the here-and-now rather than projecting anxiously about future concerns.

Delegate tasks – You do not have to do it all on your own. Assign responsibilities, such as meal preparation, decorating, purchases, errands or organizing activities, to others.

Learn to say, “No” – Know your limitations and prioritize your mental health. Declining invitations or obligations can keep you from getting overwhelmed. Limit use of technology, as constant connectivity can contribute to stress. Set healthy limits with yourself and opt for in-person contacts. Remember ‘no’ is a full sentence. Do not feel obligated to explain yourself. Often our excuses are not even true, so better not to offer them.

Create meaning – Volunteering for local shelters or community giving programs lifts spirits and helps to frame your own life in a light of gratitude.

The holidays are supposed to be an enjoyable time to celebrate. Applying these suggested strategies can help minimize tension and create a more positively meaningful experience.

Wishing you the best!

Mederis, A. (2024). Political tensions threaten to compound holiday stress.
American Psychological Association.

American Psychiatric Association (2024). One quarter of Americans say
they are more stressed this holiday season than in 2023.