Resilience in the Age of COVID-19

“A good half of the art of living is resilience.” – Alain de Botton

Resilience is the ability to bounce back when things do not go as planned. What we did not plan on is the current problem with our economy. Usually economies fall into recession, move into recovery and begin a new business cycle. But what we are seeing with COVID-19 is a deep recession leading to a less noticeable, but ongoing, recession that may leave a few scars on our economy. Considering this, it seems important to think about what keeps us stable during these unstable times.

During 2020, we are all getting a bit knocked down. But the resilient among us do not allow things to get them down too far or for too long. Those with the important psychological traits of grit, agility, gratitude and emotional intelligence fare better during adversity. Think of Ben Franklin. What if he gave up after his many failed attempts to make useful items? Franklin may not have benefited by learning how not to create an invention if he did not work through his frustrations to fruition.

According to S. Kobasa (2020,) there are three main elements that resilient people possess. These are challenge, commitment and control, as follows:

1) Challenge – Resilient people view problems as challenges or merely lessons to
    learn, and as an opportunity to grow. If a mistake is made, they do not globally
    rate themselves as a ‘failure.’ Be careful how you talk to yourself; use kindness!

2) Commitment – Resilient folks are committed to their goals whether related to
    work, relationships, beliefs or what they plan to accomplish-even just for today.

3) Personal Control – Resilient people focus on what they can control. They try to
    focus their energies on where they can make the most impact, which helps to
    fortify confidence in an ability to succeed. It is empowering. When we worry
    about things we cannot change, we end up feeling depleted and powerless.

Other helpful characteristics among the strong are optimism when bad things happen. Resilient people view bad experiences as ‘temporary’ rather than permanent. It is unwise to allow one bad event to contaminate impressions about other related incidents. So, for example, if you make a disastrous mess out of a new recipe, consider that it happened just this once and that not ALL new recipe experiences will turn out badly. Another less positive trait is that when bad things happen, resilient people do not usually blame themselves as a cause of the bad event. They tend to see the problem as related to others being at fault. They do not second-guess themselves too much.

Hansen (2018) talks about why resiliency is hard to come by. He refers to the ‘negativity bias’ in the brain which is likened to Velcro for bad and Teflon for good experiences. The tendency for most humans is to notice what is wrong, which is probably an ancient in-born survival instinct. An example may be how someone obsesses on the one question they scored as incorrect despite an otherwise ‘A’ test. Hansen helpfully suggests that we intentionally try to notice the good stopping to reflect on simple, pleasant daily events. I think celebrating our summer tomatoes coming into season to be a good example. Marinate in your positive experiences and allow the impressions to soak in. One can rewire the brain towards the positive with this type of effort. And it IS an effort going against the wave of negative thought tendencies.

During a pandemic, listen to reliable news sources (if you can find them,) stay calm, make a plan and stick to it (at least for today). Meditate, pray, do yoga, drink tea and stare off into space or walk in nature. To stay calm; mindfully slow it down. One can develop hardiness in several ways. But on a practical level, one must first take care to exercise regularly and get enough sleep. It makes sense that being healthy helps you control stress more easily. The stronger you feel physically and emotionally, the easier to overcome challenges at this particularly troubled time in our world.

There is one aspect of resiliency that I saved for last…but not least. Resiliency sounds a lot like ‘you are on your own.’ But during our shelter-in-place, social distancing, mask-wearing and the great political divide, we are already feeling lonelier and more isolated. The paradox is that we are ultimately alone yet inextricably bound to others. Build strong relationships with colleagues, friends and family, so that you have a support network to fall back on (for the days you do not feel quite so resilient). And as an additional source of support, several clients have used my virtual services just for this very reason. Stay in touch.

Kobasa, S. C. (1979). Stressful life events, personality and health: An inquiry into
hardiness. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 37(1), 1-11.
http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.37.1.1

Hanson, R. (2018). Resilient: How to grow an unshakable core of calm, strength, and
happiness. Harmony/Potter/Ten Speed/Harmony/Rodale.