Waking with a start on Sunday morning, I realized it was December and the onset of the holiday season. After getting a cup of coffee, I went straight to my office to begin project managing this month’s calendar. Many people mirror this attempt to choreograph all the intricacies at this time of the year.

A recent survey by the American Psychological Association found normalcy in holiday stress; imagine that! In addition, it was discovered that Americans’ primary stressors during the holidays are characterized by financial fears, struggles with loneliness and worries around impending family conflict. If you are like me and your busy schedule becomes even busier in December, it may help to put things in perspective.

How to reframe your thoughts about the holidays:

Realistic expectations – Annual celebrations are rarely perfect. Remain flexible about presenting the ideal meal or offering perfect gifts. Lower your anxiety with practical choices that allow you to feel in control.

Focus on what is important – Is the season really about expensive presents, impressive decorations or elaborate food? Simplify your gatherings by focusing on being with those you love or reaching out to connect with friends or family members you cannot be with this year.

Healthy family communication – Share with your family a wish to focus on satisfaction with what you already have and accepting one another just as we are. Emphasize quality time through amusing activities such as playing simple games or viewing old photos together. If time-worn traditions cause stress, create new ones that are more manageable and enjoyable.

Self-care – You are only one person and can only do so much in one day. If you feel less harried, others may benefit from a more relaxed, happier version of yourself. Long walks in nature, quiet reading, calming music or mindfulness practices can restore energy and keep you in the here-and-now rather than projecting anxiously about future concerns.

Delegate tasks – You do not have to do it all on your own. Assign responsibilities, such as meal preparation, decorating, purchases, errands or organizing activities, to others.

Learn to say, “No” – Know your limitations and prioritize your mental health. Declining invitations or obligations can keep you from getting overwhelmed. Limit use of technology, as constant connectivity can contribute to stress. Set healthy boundaries with yourself and opt for in-person contacts.

Create meaning – Volunteering for local shelters or community giving programs lifts spirits and helps to frame your own life in a light of gratitude.

Relate to others – In APA’s 2023 survey, only 41% of adults actually shared their hectic seasonal experiences with others. Two-in-five adults used negative coping strategies, such as isolation (21%), overeating/restricting diets (16%) or relying on alcohol/substances to feel better (13%). It can help to talk to family or trusted friends who may offer support or advice. Alternatively, a therapist can offer ways for you to feel better by addressing emotional issues and changing unhealthy thought patterns and behaviors.

The holidays are supposed to be an enjoyable time to celebrate. Applying these suggested strategies can help minimize tension and create a more positively meaningful experience. Wishing you the best!

Suzette Turner-Clark, LCSW-S, RPT/S, RYT-200