Cultivating Self-Esteem

The foundation of self-esteem is rooted in the relationship you have with yourself. According to Schiraldi (2016,) self-esteem is “a deep, quiet inner security that is not easily shaken under duress or after a disappointing performance.” Often we measure self-worth by comparing ourself to others. This practice can alter the respect we hold for ourselves. Decision making, assertiveness, risk taking and letting go of past mistakes are areas of our lives that can be disrupted when our self-respect is in question.

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Tis the Season ... to Examine your Mindset

Waking with a start on Sunday morning, I realized it was December and the onset of the holiday season. After getting a cup of coffee, I went straight to my office to begin project managing this month’s calendar. Many people mirror this attempt to choreograph every intricacy of this time of the year.

A recent survey by the American Psychological Association found normalcy in holiday stress; imagine that! In addition, it was discovered that Americans’ primary stressors during the holidays are characterized by financial fears, struggles with loneliness and worries surrounding impending family conflict. If you are like me and your busy schedule becomes even busier in December, it may help to put things in perspective.

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Understanding and Overcoming Math Anxiety

Math anxiety manifests as a sense of increasing fear when solving equations, such as on a math test or just thinking about numbers. Usually one knows how to do the math, but the challenge comes when there is an emotional overreaction to working through the problems. When we are upset, we cannot access the parts of the brain necessary for solving problems. And…the ability to think is exactly what is needed to solve problems in the first place. Choosing to believe you are “just not a math person” can complicate your life. It is clear that math is used throughout our lifespan and can affect career choice, money management, calculating dimensions for home projects or planning for retirement.

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Practicing Assertiveness

Assertiveness is an expression of your true needs, beliefs or feelings to others. It means being unafraid to stand up for yourself, set boundaries and self-advocate in a respectful manner. Choosing to passively avoid speaking up for yourself gives away your power and only leads to your feeling resentful. Assertive communication results in a ‘win-win’ rather than the ‘I win’ expression of aggression by respecting the rights of others, as well as oneself. I often tell clients, “Assertiveness implies getting what you need without stepping on others’ toes” and is a benefit for all considered. Openly stating needs and boundaries serves others by setting expectations, promoting clarity and building trust. I don’t know about you, but I personally like being around people with whom I know where I stand.

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Evaluating your Friendships

We have all experienced a toxic alliance where the drama of a friend ’s life adversely affects our own. Perhaps from the beginning, there was poor social reciprocity where most of your efforts in the relationship were unreciprocated. It is challenging to build a healthy sustainable partnership with these imbalances.

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Youth Social Media Warning

At this moment, we are experiencing a national youth mental health crisis.

The U. S. Surgeon General has recently prioritized an advisory that a diversified effort be made to reduce the risk of harm to children’s mental health from the use of social media. Although it has its benefits, it has been concluded that the Internet is not safe enough to support the psychological wellness of children and teens ages 13-17. Kids are spending too much time on the Internet. More than 3.5 hours a day are occupied with social media sites and 1/3 of kids are using it almost ceaselessly. The type of content that may cause the most harm, as well as what may be touted as protective factors, are now being seriously researched.

What parents and caregivers can do
to mitigate this problem:

Create a family media plan to help establish healthy technology boundaries at home—including social media use.
Create tech-free zones and encourage kids to nurture their in-person friendships.
As an adult, model responsible social media behavior. for your kids.
Teach our young about technology and empower them to be responsible online participants at an age-appropriate level that corresponds with natural child development.
Report cyberbullying, online abuse and exploitation.
Work with other parents to establish shared norms and healthy online practices.
Support programs and policies surrounding healthy social media use.

Report - Current Priorities of the
U. S. Surgeon General on Social
Media and Youth Mental Health:
https://www.hhs.gov/surgeongeneral/priorities/youth-
mentalhealth/social-media/index.html#understand

How to create a family media plan:
www.healthychildren.org/MediaUsePlan.

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Suzette Turner-Clark, LCSW-S, RPT/S, RYT-200