Helping Children Cope after Tragedy
Many caregivers are wondering how to address the Texas school shooting with kids. Adults are uncertain about what to say when a child asks about terrorist attacks and community shootings learned about in the news or from school friends. Children may be frightened by rumors or inaccuracies about what actually happened and require a special type of clarification.
Youngsters naturally reference caregivers as to how to respond to a crisis. What mental health professionals are concerned about is kids witnessing or overhearing parental stress reactions following acts of violence, as this affects a child’s sense of safety and security. It is vital that caregivers initially address their own distress in proper ways, such as discussing fears with other adults. It is critical to keep emotions under control while explaining events to children. Modeling how to successfully manage upsets is how young people learn to regulate their own feelings.
As smart as a parent considers their child to be, kids of a certain age are not yet cognitively developed to process information the way an adult does. So it is important to be aware of child development in relating the truth in a way that can be understood at each child’s unique level of intellect. Less detail for little ones and more facts/discussion for older kids. The following is a guideline from NASP:
The National Association of School Psychologists offers age-appropriate tips for talking to kids about violence, which includes:
Early elementary school children need brief, simple information, balanced with reassurance that their school/home are safe and adults will protect them. They need concrete examples of school safety, like the fact that the school has fire drills and adults watch the playground.
Upper elementary and early middle school children will have more questions about whether they are safe and may need help separating reality from fantasy. The discussion on safety steps can be more detailed.
Upper middle school and high school students will have strong and varying opinions about the causes of violence in schools and society. They may also share ideas on how to make schools safer. Emphasize their role in supporting safe schools and following the safety guidelines.
Resources:
https://www.apa.org/topics/gun-violence-crime/shooting-aftermath
https://blog.aamft.org/2016/06/crisis-resources-.html