Practicing Assertiveness

Assertiveness is an expression of your true needs, beliefs or feelings to others. It means being unafraid to stand up for yourself, set boundaries and self-advocate in a respectful manner. Choosing to passively avoid speaking up for yourself gives away your power and only leads to your feeling resentful. Assertive communication results in a ‘win-win’ rather than the ‘I win’ expression of aggression by respecting the rights of others, as well as oneself. I often tell clients, “Assertiveness implies getting what you need without stepping on others’ toes” and is a benefit for all considered. Openly stating needs and boundaries serves others by setting expectations, promoting clarity and building trust. I don’t know about you, but I personally like being around people with whom I know where I stand.

Evaluating your Friendships

We have all experienced a toxic alliance where the drama of a friend ’s life adversely affects our own. Perhaps from the beginning, there was poor social reciprocity where most of your efforts in the relationship were unreciprocated. It is challenging to build a healthy sustainable partnership with these imbalances.

Change your Brain with your Mind

Did you know that it is normal to talk to yourself? People experience a private internal dialogue all the time. What you elect to think affects feelings, which in turn influences your behaviors. Choosing to reflect negatively on matters by focusing on fears can create pessimistic reactions that result in undesirable outcomes. For example, telling yourself you will be unsuccessful at your new job may produce a sense of worthlessness. When we believe our value is low, it can create an apathetic mood. Lack of effort may very well result in a poor job performance. The internal dialogue might be, “I will fail anyway, so why should I even try?” At a subconscious level, our beliefs and expectations influence our actions. So when we tell ourselves that we will fail, it often results in a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Creating Balanced Relationships with Social Media

How to craft online safeguards:
1. Prune your social media garden by deleting who and what provokes anxiety
2. Protect yourself by blocking
3. Remove toxic apps that focus on negativity. Counter these with daily positives, such as Nice News
4. Moderate exposure by taking periodic breaks to gain perspective and create balance in online activities
5. Turn off notifications that eat up time and create distractions that keep you from main goals
6. Remove blue-light screens to improve your sleep
7. Look at computer tracking that informs about the actual length of your screen time

On Creative Problem Solving

“The mind does most of its best thinking when we aren't there.
The answers are there in the morning.”
– Alain de Botton

What is Default Mode Network (DMN)? DMN is an empirically supported phenomena when one develops their best ideas during times in which they are otherwise mentally unoccupied. Examples may be when in the shower, walking your dog or raking fall leaves. Some may term this daydreaming, an activity we engage in almost 50% of time.

World Mental Health Day - 10/10/2022

The World Federation for Mental Health (WFMH) announced the theme for World Mental Health Day 2022, which is 'Make mental health for all a global priority”.