Navigating Tension at the Holiday Table

Serving others as a clinician provides a front row seat to observe reactions to societal trends. I was surprised at how many struggled to cope following the election results. These reactions have amplified anxieties surrounding the upcoming holidays. For the last four years, the American Psychological Association has polled regarding holiday health. This year 28% of those surveyed are experiencing more stress affording holiday gifts (46%,) grieving a lost loved one (47%,) and dealing with challenging family dynamics (35%). That may be especially true this December, as revealed by a recent APA survey conducted right before Thanksgiving. A significant 45% of younger people (ages 18 to 34) and 47% of middle-aged folks (ages 35 and 44) said they plan to avoid relatives they disagree with this holiday season in the aftermath of the election. Managing a family’s political differences during the holidays can be tough, but these conflicts do not have to ruin a festive season

How does one engage constructively in family political disagreements during the holidays?

Tis the Season ... to Examine your Mindset

Waking with a start on Sunday morning, I realized it was December and the onset of the holiday season. After getting a cup of coffee, I went straight to my office to begin project managing this month’s calendar. Many people mirror this attempt to choreograph every intricacy of this time of the year.

A recent survey by the American Psychological Association found normalcy in holiday stress; imagine that! In addition, it was discovered that Americans’ primary stressors during the holidays are characterized by financial fears, struggles with loneliness and worries surrounding impending family conflict. If you are like me and your busy schedule becomes even busier in December, it may help to put things in perspective.

Practicing Assertiveness

Assertiveness is an expression of your true needs, beliefs or feelings to others. It means being unafraid to stand up for yourself, set boundaries and self-advocate in a respectful manner. Choosing to passively avoid speaking up for yourself gives away your power and only leads to your feeling resentful. Assertive communication results in a ‘win-win’ rather than the ‘I win’ expression of aggression by respecting the rights of others, as well as oneself. I often tell clients, “Assertiveness implies getting what you need without stepping on others’ toes” and is a benefit for all considered. Openly stating needs and boundaries serves others by setting expectations, promoting clarity and building trust. I don’t know about you, but I personally like being around people with whom I know where I stand.

Change your Brain with your Mind

Did you know that it is normal to talk to yourself? People experience a private internal dialogue all the time. What you elect to think affects feelings, which in turn influences your behaviors. Choosing to reflect negatively on matters by focusing on fears can create pessimistic reactions that result in undesirable outcomes. For example, telling yourself you will be unsuccessful at your new job may produce a sense of worthlessness. When we believe our value is low, it can create an apathetic mood. Lack of effort may very well result in a poor job performance. The internal dialogue might be, “I will fail anyway, so why should I even try?” At a subconscious level, our beliefs and expectations influence our actions. So when we tell ourselves that we will fail, it often results in a self-fulfilling prophesy.

World Mental Health Day - 10/10/2022

The World Federation for Mental Health (WFMH) announced the theme for World Mental Health Day 2022, which is 'Make mental health for all a global priority”.

Mental Health Awareness Month

Common signs of mental health problems are eating or sleeping too much or not enough, losing interest in people and activities, feeling hopeless or having aches and pains without a source. Other signs are using alcohol or drugs as way of coping, irritability and anger, feeling depressed and thoughts of harming oneself or others.