Practicing Assertiveness

Assertiveness is an expression of your true needs, beliefs or feelings to others. It means being unafraid to stand up for yourself, set boundaries and self-advocate in a respectful manner. Choosing to passively avoid speaking up for yourself gives away your power and only leads to your feeling resentful. Assertive communication results in a ‘win-win’ rather than the ‘I win’ expression of aggression by respecting the rights of others, as well as oneself. I often tell clients, “Assertiveness implies getting what you need without stepping on others’ toes” and is a benefit for all considered. Openly stating needs and boundaries serves others by setting expectations, promoting clarity and building trust. I don’t know about you, but I personally like being around people with whom I know where I stand.

Evaluating your Friendships

We have all experienced a toxic alliance where the drama of a friend ’s life adversely affects our own. Perhaps from the beginning, there was poor social reciprocity where most of your efforts in the relationship were unreciprocated. It is challenging to build a healthy sustainable partnership with these imbalances.

Creating Balanced Relationships with Social Media

How to craft online safeguards:
1. Prune your social media garden by deleting who and what provokes anxiety
2. Protect yourself by blocking
3. Remove toxic apps that focus on negativity. Counter these with daily positives, such as Nice News
4. Moderate exposure by taking periodic breaks to gain perspective and create balance in online activities
5. Turn off notifications that eat up time and create distractions that keep you from main goals
6. Remove blue-light screens to improve your sleep
7. Look at computer tracking that informs about the actual length of your screen time

Social Media News and Mental Health

Excess emersion in social media is unwise. We become overwhelmed when spending hours online seeking answers. The mind is not constructed to process an oversaturation of discouraging material and millions of digital comparisons. When people become flooded with too much data, one response is to ‘give up,’ which can lead to learned helplessness. This manifestation of learned helplessness is related to a person’s belief in their ability to reach a goal. In this case, finding the correct piece of information that satisfies a sense of safety in what we perceive to be an unsafe world. An impression of powerlessness that comes with a perceived lack of control over a particular outcome can lead to depression. It is important to proactively take control over our wellbeing and lessen the effect of learned helplessness.

On Creative Problem Solving

“The mind does most of its best thinking when we aren't there.
The answers are there in the morning.”
– Alain de Botton

What is Default Mode Network (DMN)? DMN is an empirically supported phenomena when one develops their best ideas during times in which they are otherwise mentally unoccupied. Examples may be when in the shower, walking your dog or raking fall leaves. Some may term this daydreaming, an activity we engage in almost 50% of time.

World Mental Health Day - 10/10/2022

The World Federation for Mental Health (WFMH) announced the theme for World Mental Health Day 2022, which is 'Make mental health for all a global priority”.